Recently I have been very distracted and not so “live” on my blog, and my apologies go out to those of you who follow my blog routinely.
It all started with the news of my cousin Neville finding out that his Cancer had come back and without mercy this time. It was a big shock and took the whole family by surprise. I personally took quite a few more steps back than most of my family as Nev and I have a very special friendship, relationship, bond. But we initially thought it was going to be a journey “just like the other times” and we’ll all have a few more years left with Nev. After all, the world needs his contribution to all the happiness that surrounds him. He then came to Umhlanga a few weeks ago and as he did in true Nev fashion, try and visit everyone. Whenever Darren and I would travel to Cape Town we’d meet up with Nev and this time that he was coming to our village things should be no different. Except this time they were. we made plans, but Nev was too sick and sore the one night and when we tried to reschedule, I was busy and had made long-standing arrangements elsewhere. So we chatted for about an hour on the phone on the day he was flying back to Jozi… We spoke about all the exciting things ahead of us in the future, how well our siblings are doing and all the things they’ve achieved, how excited we were for Nev’s sister Louise’s wedding next year and how we are going to “squeak some takkie” on the dance floor and turn “fun-time” into “show-time!”… We chatted about my photography and I told him to “keep taking pics, the more you take the better you get”.
It was probably a week later, we get the news that Nev is in the hospital, the cancer has spread. We all shuffled around aimlessly for a good solid week not knowing what to do, say, think…
You know it’s particularly difficult to motivate the most motivated person you know… and when I called him and said to him “Nev, you are an inspiration to millions of people out there who are suffering and I cant tell you how proud I am to be your cousin” … His response was “MILLIONS? seriously cuz, I dont know a MILLION people, dont be silly! and thanks for being proud of me, I haven’t exactly trained hard for this cancer but I’ll take it!”….
I was so upset by all of this and the fact that I didnt get to see him while he was here, my dear and darling parents did me one of the best favours I could ever have asked for. They flew me up to visit him.
I arrived on in JHB on Wednesday the 15th August at 9;30am. A friend of mine picked me up from the airport and he took me straight to Nev to visit him at my aunt and uncles house. I saw him for about 10min. He was very tired from all the morphine being given to him to keep him comfortable and pain free. I extended messages from my mom, dad and all my siblings, spoke to him a while about the memories we shared and he acknowledged me and what I had to say. He then slipped off to sleep for a bit so we left him to rest. I went for lunch and I got back to my friends house and went for an hour long nap. Woke up to a phone call from my cousin Gordon to say that Nev had passed a little time before making the call to me. First came the shock, then the tears… then the feeling of an absolute and utter loss.
I’m blogging about this today for many reasons. One being that I am trying to process Nev’s passing in the best way that I can without forgetting one morsel of his kindness for a moment. Another being that while I have been mourning over my loss, and flying back and forth to JHB for visits and for the funeral and to be with family over this difficult time it has become blindingly apparent that the world does not stop for anyone.
And so here I am, trying to keep my blog alive while taking a break from the rush of work for a bit.
Cheers to Nev… A man never lonely, never angry, never discouraged and never forgotten.
The world is a better place because you were here and worse place because you left…
but your legacy lives on…
You will be loved and remembered for lifetimes to come.